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Sunday, October 01, 2006

2:37 AM

was in bed already actly, but something kinda prompted me to read huiying's blog .
and amazingly she did post something.
and when i read it i just felt so .. clueless. in a sense that i never knew such emotions actly were barriers in our friendship. i never knew she felt this way, much less that we've neglected her in any way. and again i felt like a really lousy friend. im always almost the last to detect someone's hurt,anger,displeasure. im always last to care. insensitive? i dont think so. indifference sounds more like it.
ting and the rest deemed me as someone who didnt know how to care. it sounds like a really lousy excuse for simply being indifferent. truth be told, im someone very selfish. so selfish that i cant be bothered with things happening in my friend's life, i know only because they fill me in, i seldom ask them "how's life",its always only the other way round.i really am a lousy friend . i know

i keep trying and trying even with you pushing me away.

im all gone out of expressions and that frustrates me.
argh
abit incoherent. dont want to think anymore.
i think i should just sleep.